Rode the Waves or The Voyage of the Breadfruit Plant
V. 5 Reintroduced truncated Captain's log - New title The violent squalls caught us entirely by surprise and gave me little time to bring the ship under the mizzen main sail. I decided to sail nearer...
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FD-- Interesting, this. Here's my quick take. I'd cut the log entry, but I'd keep the new title (or use it as a subtitle). It gives enough background, and that would let the poem stand on it's own and...
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Thanks Michael, lovely comments, need much thought. I enjoy puns [headlong-headland]. There is a sinister reason for the 'energetically' Take your point or end stop on the end of ilne punctuation, I...
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Frank, Interesting poem. I thought at first I was in an episode of Star Trek because of the captain's log. A date and location would help establish the scene. Not sure what to make of the title. I...
View ArticleRe: Rode the Waves or The Voyage of the Breadfruit Plant
Wow, glorious vertigo is good, so good, who is Bligh I dropped 'the' in the minutes elapse, thanks The scene is in the title?
View ArticleRe: Rode the Waves or The Voyage of the Breadfruit Plant
Bligh was the captain of the HMH Bounty. I googled "A huge sea that was white, as drunken foam..." and found a letter by Bligh. This is from Wikipedia: The Mutiny on the Bounty occurred aboard the...
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I'm with Michael for making this stand on its own and making changes. I found it distracting and would love to see an edit to comment upon. Yes, Bligh was the HMH Bounty. Nice work, glad to have read...
View ArticleRe: Rode the Waves or The Voyage of the Breadfruit Plant
OK Laurie, I will revert to v.1 and leave it out, thank you.
View ArticleRe: Rode the Waves or The Voyage of the Breadfruit Plant
I like the intro even though it is a bit long--it sort of overwhelms the poem. Maybe shorten it and add attribution: —Captain Bligh, HMH Bounty, Captain's Log or some such thing. Does storm-swept get...
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Yes, that was my thought, the introduction is a poem on its won, what to do, what to do. Agree entirely with your comments of the rush and surf boarder. To some extent this poem has written itself,...
View ArticleRe: Voyage of the Search for the Breadfruit Plant
the power of the storm captured for the reader, the very feeling. great job.now, make a story. think Conrad in Typhoon. 0 comments Joseph Conrad's 'Typhoon' shows power of storm ...Read More
View ArticleRe: Voyage of the Search for the Breadfruit Plant
Bernie Thanks for all your efforts, I have never read Conrad until today, he certainly knows the sea. Most sea captains will not head straight into a storm but break the power of the waves by going...
View ArticleRe: Voyage of the Search for the Breadfruit Plant
no.add characters, in full or snapshots, something more than the ship...a stress, personal that the reader can also feel....like those 200 Chinese in Typhoon who nearly riot when their money chests...
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